We Touchdown There - draft day

First of all, why the EFF does anyone do this? 

It is hectic, gives you anxiety, and makes you angry and excited all at the fuckin same time. It was an intense 45 minutes for me... Maybe because I am a woman who prefers just rooting for a team and drinking,  or most likely it was because I clearly have NO CLUE about football. All I did know was that auto drafting was so damn tempting, but I was determined to try. I felt like I should have probably drank before, to ease the anxiety... But I mean, our original draft time was 10:30 so I couldn't be that guy.

I kid you not, I was nervous waking up this morning. I woke up two housr before our draft and got all of my notes prepared and organized... and then paced around like a crazy person.  Thanks to league rules, we were not allowed to use significant others for help. So what did I do? What this bitch does best.

Googled it.

I Googled all of my positions, and what order I should draft them in, and had about 12 options for each position, just in case. Did it work for me? Not at all. I think by the 10th round, I was Googling names in hopes that they might look like they were high up on a ranking list for fantasy football. 

What does that even mean?!? 

Thank the lord I was 2nd in the draft order, because, I heard that is good. So I mean I obviously must have done okay my first couple of picks?  Right? Please say yes, lol. I don't know. 

 I should definitely mention that this girl did not pay any attention to who was injured, who was suspended, and who was on bye weeks and when. Clearly the commissioner should have scheduled a Fantasy Football tutoring sesh.  It's okay. This year I am a beginner, next year I might have a clue. I said might.

Thanks commissioner.

Just kidding, i love you... now talk to me about trading...

#yeaiblameyoukinda

#younevermentioneditgotcray

#idontknowwhatimdoing

#pleaseletusdoafundraftorderpicknextyear

#leaguegoals

#wetouchdownthere

Are you ..... serious?!?

It is not uncommon to get weird vibes and awkward run ins after a break up. Running into your ex's crowd almost always leads to you walking away saying "how fucking annoying and awkward."

Everyone has experienced those unwelcome "hi"s, "hello"s, "how are you"s. But really, let's not be childish and make it worse than that initial salutation and perhaps a good bye if it is deserved.
Breakups happen.  They are common. They are more than difficult. They make all sorts of situations awkward. But most importantly, they are usually heartbreaking AND they change up your entire routine. ALSO remember, heartbreaking can include anger and hate, so don’t assume by heartbreaking I am referring to someone sad and moping around. 

I just generally mean that they can change a person’s life schedule from a 9am-5pm to a 10pm - 7am from one day to the next. They change who you hang out with, where you hang out, and sometimes even how much you go out.  

Regardless of how close you are to the two involved in a break up, as a grown ass person with any sort of sympathy to another person’s personal problems, you should be decent enough to let the break up run-ins be THE LEAST bit awkward as you can.  

Come on, be fucking adults. 

The domino affect of a break ups WILL include a run-in sometime or another, so please do not act surprised that your friend’s ex girlfriend/boyfriend showed up to a mutual friend’s birthday party. 
Do not act like you didn't know they might be there. 
Do not act like you don’t know a break up has happened. 
Do not avoid that break up, and yet do not confront it because it sure as hell isn’t your place. 
But most importantly, do not ask stupid questions that MAKE things more awkward than necessary. 
Why don't "adults" know this type of common sense?

I get it, it was probably awkward seeing them.... but asking questions like
"Are you still.... hiking?" or "Are you still.... living in LA?"
is an embarrassing conversation. Not for her. For you. You guys are lucky they were decent enough to bite their tongue and not say what any other rational human being would have said.

"Hiking? I mean I guess when someone invites me to go? I didn't know telling you I went once labled me as a 'hiker'."  I am pretty sure you were meaning to ask if they were still together. No, they are not together, yet I am positive you already knew that, but are insisting on knowing since it's mutual territory. It's called real life. This happens often in real people world.

"Living in Los Angeles? I don't remember ever having conversations about my living situation with you, nor do I ever remember mentioning a move. A break up does not imply I considered a move..."  LOL. Thanks for being concerned. I think you actually wanted to ask if they still spoke.  No, probably not considering there is not much reason to after a break up. Hello Captain Obvious.

SERIOUSLY? You didn't know that was going to be a failed and awkward question? You actually thought that was a regular people question?!? You couldn't ask a normal question? "Hey, how about them Lakers?" "This LA weather is amazing isn't it?" "What are you drinking tonight?" "Do you like this song?"

If you couldn't be that nonchalant about the awkward run in, then DON'T SAY ANYTHING ELSE. It was a bar. Not a fucking dinner party. You were not required to make small talk if you obviously couldn't handle being an adult about it. 

 #ByeFelicia
#beanadult
#growuporshutup