Are you ..... serious?!?

It is not uncommon to get weird vibes and awkward run ins after a break up. Running into your ex's crowd almost always leads to you walking away saying "how fucking annoying and awkward."

Everyone has experienced those unwelcome "hi"s, "hello"s, "how are you"s. But really, let's not be childish and make it worse than that initial salutation and perhaps a good bye if it is deserved.
Breakups happen.  They are common. They are more than difficult. They make all sorts of situations awkward. But most importantly, they are usually heartbreaking AND they change up your entire routine. ALSO remember, heartbreaking can include anger and hate, so don’t assume by heartbreaking I am referring to someone sad and moping around. 

I just generally mean that they can change a person’s life schedule from a 9am-5pm to a 10pm - 7am from one day to the next. They change who you hang out with, where you hang out, and sometimes even how much you go out.  

Regardless of how close you are to the two involved in a break up, as a grown ass person with any sort of sympathy to another person’s personal problems, you should be decent enough to let the break up run-ins be THE LEAST bit awkward as you can.  

Come on, be fucking adults. 

The domino affect of a break ups WILL include a run-in sometime or another, so please do not act surprised that your friend’s ex girlfriend/boyfriend showed up to a mutual friend’s birthday party. 
Do not act like you didn't know they might be there. 
Do not act like you don’t know a break up has happened. 
Do not avoid that break up, and yet do not confront it because it sure as hell isn’t your place. 
But most importantly, do not ask stupid questions that MAKE things more awkward than necessary. 
Why don't "adults" know this type of common sense?

I get it, it was probably awkward seeing them.... but asking questions like
"Are you still.... hiking?" or "Are you still.... living in LA?"
is an embarrassing conversation. Not for her. For you. You guys are lucky they were decent enough to bite their tongue and not say what any other rational human being would have said.

"Hiking? I mean I guess when someone invites me to go? I didn't know telling you I went once labled me as a 'hiker'."  I am pretty sure you were meaning to ask if they were still together. No, they are not together, yet I am positive you already knew that, but are insisting on knowing since it's mutual territory. It's called real life. This happens often in real people world.

"Living in Los Angeles? I don't remember ever having conversations about my living situation with you, nor do I ever remember mentioning a move. A break up does not imply I considered a move..."  LOL. Thanks for being concerned. I think you actually wanted to ask if they still spoke.  No, probably not considering there is not much reason to after a break up. Hello Captain Obvious.

SERIOUSLY? You didn't know that was going to be a failed and awkward question? You actually thought that was a regular people question?!? You couldn't ask a normal question? "Hey, how about them Lakers?" "This LA weather is amazing isn't it?" "What are you drinking tonight?" "Do you like this song?"

If you couldn't be that nonchalant about the awkward run in, then DON'T SAY ANYTHING ELSE. It was a bar. Not a fucking dinner party. You were not required to make small talk if you obviously couldn't handle being an adult about it. 

 #ByeFelicia
#beanadult
#growuporshutup

loves lost, loves gone......

So I was listening to my baby Drake on my Ipod, and he was singing to me that "loves lost loves gone". What does that mean? I'd have to say that he is talking about the fact that love is so hard to find now-a-days, that it basically doesn't exist anymore. Amen to that Drake. I mean I don't want to be a bitter bitch or anything, and I do honestly love whomever and whenever I am in a relationship, but I don't believe that old school love exists anymore.  Men don't love like they used to, chivalry has disappeared completely.  No more opening doors, flowers just because only come in the first few months, phone conversations are shortened by texting, and not to mention that a lot of guys EXPECT to be spoiled rather than doing the spoiling.  And because of these turn of events, women have decided to play a man's game.  We have decided to build up walls that we refuse to let down.  Women now do things no one would suspect them to do: cheat, lie, have a dude on the side, toot it and boot it, etc.  NOT SAYING THAT'S ME OR ANYONE I KNOW, lol. I'm just saying it helps protect them from getting a broken heart.   I know a lot of women who are beyond tired of not being treated how they deserve to be treated.  But guys don't get me wrong, if you are dating a bitch or a hoe, she deserves to be treated like a bitch or a hoe.  A real woman that wants to be loved will love her man unconditionally until he proves her otherwise.  If she is a smart and confident woman, she will trust her man always, therefore there will be no drama.  But give us girls any reason to believe we are unappreciated... well your basically asking for us to turn into that crazy girl your friends tell you to drop.  I think that women have become these vicious ass creatures because of the men in the world who are ungrateful and take advantage of the good girls they come across.  If you come across a girl and you DON'T want to date her, be upfront, just tell her.  A girl that keeps it one hundred will simply make a choice wether or not to ditch the guy or to eff it and get it in.  That same girl will also know when that's all that it is.  Men obviously underestimate how vicious we think, they underestimate the fact that if you are straight forward, most of the time, you will avoid the drama.  Guys, if you come across wifey material, don't let her go.  But if she isn't the one, don't pretend, be upfront! Maybe then love can exist again..... Love can have a meaning instead of being something no one believes in anymore.

Case of the Ex...

Randomly, this week has been a total case of the ex boyfriends.  And NOT just my own ex.  I have just noticed that I still obtain my relationships with ex's that aren't even mine.  I do in fact have a friend relationship with my own ex.  We are honestly friends.  And to tell you the truth, yea, I know we dated for 5 years, yea I know it was a tad bit serious for such a young age, and yea I understand how awkward it may seem to outsiders, but I have no problem with it.  Especially because I see him now and can't even remember that he was my boyfriend at one point in my life.  I don't know if that is how it is for other people, because really, I don't know many people that continue a relationship with their ex beyond that couples point.  Like one of my besties for example,  she maintains a relationship with her ex boy toys to a certain extent.  Usually when she is single, she has no problem being friends with past boyfriends.  Talking, hanging out, and nothing more.  Yet, at the time of a new relationship, any relations with past boyfriends are depleted. Now the question is why?  Is it that women shouldn't be friends with their ex?  Should men?  I honestly have no problem with it.  Even being in a relationship, I would never mind my significant other having an ex as a friend, AS LONG as it was in a respectful manor.  If it is apparent that there are still mixed emotions involved, then of course HELL to the NO to that option.  Otherwise, grow up, it is possible.  I asked a duo of dudes yesterday if they minded their girlfriends having their ex boyfriends as friends.  Surprisingly, they agreed with me.  They said that if you trust the person you are dating, you should trust their judgement in deciding with whom they are friends with.  Honestly, the MOST mature statement from any men I have heard in a while.  Of course these are the same men that create a combined name for themselves and constantly feel the need to use it publicly. But that is besides the point.  All I am saying is that if you have no more feelings, and you both get along what's the issue?  Stop being so insecure people.