Leaving on a jet plane....

Don't know when she'll be back again...

Realization is setting in. My Karen is gone in 2 days. That bitch is really up an leaving us!!

Crying has happened.... Angry thoughts as well.... Yet, I'm still feeling too happy to function. I guess maybe I just don't realize that one of my best friends is moving to Chi-town just yet. I think Friday is that day.... also perhaps it doesn't seem so drastic because Addison has proven to be an amazing example of a healthy long distance best friendship. And it probably hasn't made me cry horribly because I know I'm going to spend all of my money going to Chicago. 

My double life from LA to Seattle has just turned into a 3 some with Chicago.

I can dig it...

As a matter of fact I'm looking forward to it...

It's just that with the good thoughts and optimistic thoughts, I still have to realize that Karen "the accent" Betancur is going to be missing from our usual activities.

No more forcing her to go out....

No more driving down the block to her house....

No more hearing her constantly talk to her "mamita" ...

No more punching her in the vagina....

No more counting on her to help me beat up the ratchets....

Most importantly, no more Karen to keep us in line when we are all out and about!! 

Now I know these are total Debbie Downer statements and realizations, BUT I do comprehend the positives of her leaving too...

Chicago is a big, new, and exciting city.  New places, new food, new people, new hot guys for her to look at.  I mean, this bitch already has an apartment downtown, and a full time job that not only pays extremely well, but is a job doing something she loves.  If she did not go, or tried to bitch out,  I would basically tell her how she has officially failed at life itself.

The move is inevitable, necessary, and pretty much complete.  There's no turning back now.

As she was realizing how real the move was, this skitch (did I say it right?) was all worried about putting her life into 6 boxes.... and I'm such a horrible friend because my initial thought was along the lines of "NO BITCH, how are you going to fit US into 6 boxes? ME?  How are you going to fit us into that new life up there?  Where do I go??"  I mean come on, how am I supposed to function properly when it costs $280 to come and vent to her face to face or punch her in her girl parts?!? That is a four hour plane ride!  LMFAO.  I knew I could count on Karen to make my life this difficult. I mean usually it's a Teneya thing, but I guess it was a long time coming for Karen to make me suffer.  They say that a big life change is scary, but it is even scarier to regret something....

So I accept it.

I accept that she is moving.... 

I accept that it will cost me $280 to see her ugly face....

I accept that this leaves me with one less vagina to hang out with....

I accept that she has to make new friends for over there.....

I accept that she will find boys who I won't get to interrogate right away....

I accept that it is the best decision she has ever made to date (many more to come)....

I accept that I will need to punch other people in the vagina .....

and most of all, most importantly,

 I accept that she is leaving me....

 I have always known Karen was going to be the one to do all the big life changing, city changing things.  But I guess I never realized how serious a move was because it wasn't actually happening. Honestly I have low key been waiting for her to join the Peace Corp or runaway to France since we graduated college.... so I guess Chicago is not THAT sudden.  She is using her 3 c's.

She is making a choice to take a chance so her life can change, because PROGRESS and GROWTH are impossible without change.

  

SO I think I can officially approve this move. And that's because I approve her growth, I approve her doing grown folk things.  I hate that she will be so far, but I know it won't change us.... Well, except that as of this moment, I will now be punching all bitches in the vagina since hers won't be around. 

I know I can still count on her IMing me during work hours, phone calls, texts, the works.  And if all else fails, what are credit cards for anyways?!?

 I am proud to announce that I am officially a part time Chicago resident as of Saturday.  I have a blow up mattress in Karen's downtown apartment and we accept any visitors as long as you fill up our fridge and buy us drinks when you visit.

My baby Karen may be a new Chi-town resident (who is going to take over the city by the way), but she is an LA girl at heart. 

Plus face it, that bitch can't live without me.

a girl's favorite HO -liday ....

happy halloween bitches.

First of all, I want to give a special shout out to all my ratchets out there.  Today is basically a day dedicated to you getting to be yourself in public without the extra concerned stares.  All you have to do is add a tail and some ears, or wings, and you can wear the same damn dress/large shirt you wore to the club last night!  

So happy HOE-lloween to all my favorite ratchets....

You know who you are ;)

I would like to pretend I had never been ratchet on Halloween.... I mean this year, I swore Alice could wear a bodysuit and still be classy.... But really?  Disney characters in itty bitty clothing?  My Mad Hatter was a girl that wore a tu-tu and booty shirts.  I disappoint myself sometimes, lol.  

BUT, I will say I BOUGHT my ratchetness for the year with this costume.  That is as slutty and skanky as I could get, and will get all year long.  It is only this holiday that I allow myself to "under" dress, but I sure can't say that this is a certified standard for all of the girls I know.

Now, WHY ON EARTH has this holiday suddenly been a free pass for bitches to get ratchet? I have no idea.  This has become the holiday that girls get skinny for.  Besides summer, this is when most of us girls put in months of work to wear that much less.  

We have officially turned this child's holiday into a SLUTFEST.  It has been statistically said that now there is a greater percentage of ADULTS that dress up and participate in Halloween, then their are children who dress and trick-or-treat?  As the years have been passing since my childhood, there have been less and less trick-or-treaters?.... Are we stealing this holiday from the youth in order to get drunk and slutty.... that is priceless, LOL.

And someone please explain to me why there are slutty version's of every costume?  

Well that's because they SELL. I understand some of them.... But not all.... No girl wants to be too covered up for this ratchet event, but we have officially stooped as low as we can go.  Low enough to make Sesame Street characters in to big fat slors....

bert

ernie

cookie monster

big bird

oscar the grouch

It is an embarrassing concept that we have allowed.  But I guess at that moment, as long as you can pull it off and be sexy at the same time it's okay?  If you buy any of these costumes, your playin yourself.  Just so you know.

oooOooooh you RATCHET.

dedicated to the beautiful failures...

As the year comes closer to the end, last minute successes and failures tend to be measured out.  Some of us, when we look at it all, see failures that outshine the success, only because disaster always leaves a hot mess to clean up.

That BITCH life, she likes to throw you in directions that are so unexpected, everything else seems to crumble along with it at that moment.  Like a domino affect.  One bad thing fucks up another,  which starts fuckin up another.  Like that time you woke up late, so you lost your job, and then you got dumped for it. womp womp womp.
It gets to the point where you feel like if you make any sudden move, you will just keep falling deeper in a sinkhole. And then you start to look back and wonder what brought on the failure. 
Shit did you bring it?  What have you done lately?  How is your karma reputation holding up?

The thing that everyone forgets in the midst of it all, is that failure is never a bad sign. Despite that feeling of wanting to punch people in the neck, crash landings are just a way to start over. BIGGER and BETTER. And crash landings do not only refer to love relationships, they refer to all relationships in life..... your relationship with work, your relationship with school, shit even your relationship with yourself!
 You can never have a great success without shit going cray cray first! 
Think about all the shit the Disney characters went through before a success....
Ariel stupidly sold her voice to an octopus witch, only to be a mute, grow legs, and loose her man to some slew
Pinocchio ignored his conscious, got enslaved by a puppet show, got turned into a donkey, and got swallowed by a whale
Bell invaded private property and had to be a slave to a bitchy beast 
Snow White ate an apple from a stranger, a creepy ass stranger, and everyone thought she was dead, and
Simba trusted the wrong person, lost his dad, and then was blamed for it
ALL epic fails.

Failure can be caused by your actions, or your lack of action.
BUT in the end, look back at it, or look at it right now, and realize that any failure should be seen more of as a detour instead of a dead end. Especially when you know that you ran into failure, but you didn't just let that hoe stroll in.  
 It's not an option, it's a test.  
And bro if you didn't study hard enough or retain that necessary instinct to pass without studying, you will fail.  
So are you going to keep the fail and see it outshine your success, or are you going to man up and opt for a redo?  Or how about asking for extra credit and earning a success by going a different route?  Either one will build you up, not bring you any further down.

Worst part of the failures as you look back?
All those stupid sayings that people tell you when disaster strikes.

"when life gives you lemons, make lemonade"
"when one door shuts, another one opens"

"remember, someone else always has it worse"
"it's not the end of the world"
"you can do better"

blah, blah, blah.... I don't have lemons bitch, I hate doors, and who cares about everyone else?!? Shut your mouth.

Yes of course it is in good intentions, but  NONE of that shit is what you want to hear when you feel yourself failing, or when you look back and haven't learned from it yet.

well my darlings, here is the real people shit you need to do....
Assess and correct your failure:
Realize you can't go back in time, and accept it.. or in my cousins words "Fuck It Shit Happens"
And then make moves to correct it, Re fuckin Evaluate yourself!

They say that most success is achieved that one step after failure, so keep it pushin!
Nothing comes easy, so work through it or be a true failure and don't learn from it.
Failure is beautiful because it leads to success.
 Oprah says it best.

So, to all my failures of the year, and all the ones soon to come, I say:Queen me bitch.

10 - 11 - 12

AND I'M BACK BITCHES.

2 years ago today I decided to share my wisdom, thoughts, feelings, and life in general via blog.

I know I have been horrible the last 2 years.... I mean at first I was on a role. I even had the chance to video blog somethings. I wrote consistently, and I don't care what you think, but my shit was FUCKIN GREAT, lol. 

I think somewhere after the year mark I had to start concentrating really hard on me and my next life moves.

I won't lie to anyone. My bf and I were not in a good place.... I had 2 part time jobs.... and no school. Talk about crossroads in life right?  I am proud to say, life has shaped up to exactly what I was looking for it to be.  I think that middle ground was my time to explore what could be and what was.

I can tell you what I was back then......

young, wild, free (yea like the song bitches)

slightly irresponsible

confused and hurt

tired and never getting enough sleep

drunk and loud more often

unsure of where to go next

unsure of what to do next

and seriously SO much more relaxed!

That was probably the most freedom I will ever have in my life! Unfortunately, 2 part time jobs did not ensure much traveling, but I think I dealt with enough life altering moments, drunken nights, midnight missions, fights, friends, family, strangers, new jobs, old jobs, and grad school applications to finally find my way....

Where am I now?

I am a full time legal assistant for 4 attorneys

I am a graduate student at the University of Denver

I am part of an amazing group of BAD BITCHES

I have a boyfriend that loves me

I have a CRAZY family that is expanding by the minute

and I am finally living by the motto that life is going to go WHEREVER THE FUCK I want it to.

So my loves, feel free to hop on and read whatever you like. 

I promise I won't disappoint, I will always speak my mind, and I will always consider both sides ....

BUT

I cannot promise decent language or that you are all safe....

Just remember that I know a lot of people, and if you are in my life..... unless you ask me to disregard conversations, you will be in my blog.  I can give you a code name if you want?  Just email it to me! LOL  

And I love any thoughts of topics for me to write about.

thebubble818@gmail.com 

P.S. please educate yourself and make sure you watch the VP debates tonight.

there is nothing more disappointing than people who don't keep up with their government.

re evaluate!

It only takes 2 "L's".....

Honestly, if I had man junk, I would probably stick my stuff in every hole I could find (protected of course) .
I guess that is probably the benefit of having one.  And for a guy, the value of his ding-a-ling being shared is not measured the same as the value of a woman's goods being given out.  That is just the way it goes.  I do know for a FACT that if a woman wanted to get laid willingly, all she would need to do is ask.  
Anyone. 
 Yes, him, he would, and him, and him.  
Any of them. 
No normal man would refuse a decent vagina being offered.  It would be that easy.
It used to be assumed that for men, getting laid was a whole lot more difficult.  He would typically have to put in work.  Return phone calls, give compliments, take her on dates, give her attention and time, and most importantly, PATIENCE.
  Unfortunately, now a days, decent vagina seems to be given away, at a very low cost.
 Think about it, getting laid really only costs a smart man two things....

Liquor and Logic

Remember I am talking about guys who are smart enough to acknowledge this.  If you obtain the funds to provide the Liquor, and you are smart enough to play your actions and conversations Logically enough, most likely, you will not be sleeping alone that night.   As a woman, it is pretty embarrassing to know that there are so many women who let the 2 "L's" determine not only who they sleep with, but also how quickly they get tooted.  No wonder men have the audacity to assume all women "get down on the first night" (in my Monica voice).  
Think about all the girls you witness in the club....  Find the ones who are single and out to party....
They get a few drinks to start off the night.... Then a cute guy finds them and gets them a few more... He is whispering things in her ear.... She is giggling and sipping more frequently... Then slight signs of inappropriate touching.... And by the end of the night, someone is laying pipe.
The Liquor helped hinder decision making, and the Logic aided in convincing.  Definitely not difficult.
DON'T pretend I am over reacting.  Especially since woman are starting to be more and more accepting to casual sex.  Ask around, you will be surprised at how many girls are all of a sudden not turned off by a one night stand.  Not only that, but most of the time, women want sex just as bad as men.  They are just more discreet with the thoughts.

Every woman has the right to choose to have one night stands or not.  Sometimes woman feel the need to do something like that in an effort to fulfill a need for excitement.  It is every grown woman's decision to share her goods with whomever she thinks she should.  One night stand or not, at the end of the day, it's your vagina.  You give it to whoever you please.
I'm just saying that if it only takes drinks and smooth talker to get you into bed, you are being WAY too loose, WAY too embarrassing, WAY too pathetic, and obviously WAY too ratchet.  You might as well have a sign that says "Hey you wanna fuc*?" on your forehead.  No one likes ratchet bitches.  They are the ones that all the girls laugh at, and all the guys have no respect for.

Re evaluate your standards quickly and at least have some decency to give woman a good image.  Being a slor in public just reminds men that if it's too hard to get vagina one place, there are lines and lines of vagina that will only cost them 2 L's .  
Stop handing the goods out for so little, you are not on the Jersey Shore.

YOLO.

ugh I know.  

I love me some Drake, but the screaming and rapping of the word YOLO is played out. 

Thank God there is still meaning to it.

Come one, don't front like you don't think that it is an amazing thing to live by.  

Or at least a motto to carry with you through the new year.

You Only Live Once.

Zac Effron tatted it on his hand guys!  It is definitely causing impact, lol.

I think YOLO is a motto everyone should take into consideration this year.

think about it, every year, you make the same goals you make every year. 

DONT LIE.  I know, I do it too. 

Or even if they are not exactly the same, they barely differ from the year before...

loose weight / eat better / work out / join the gym.....

make more money / new job / get a promotion .....

learn spanish / french / german / italian / portuguese....

pray more / go to church / be more spiritual ....

blog more... blah blah blah blah

Since we only live once, and many goals stay in the same rotation, does that mean we spend our whole lives trying to do the same things over and over again?

I have decided that although I love the yearly tradition I have with my friends and family of writing down my goals, I want to actually get some done this year.  So I didn't write any down this year...

My actions are going to have to speak louder than my words this year.

As corny as it sounds, I have decided to live this year by my baby Drake's motto, YOLO.

This will remind me that, with this year, for every goal I meet, it means that I am moving forward instead of repeating myself.

So here we go.....