Are you ..... serious?!?

It is not uncommon to get weird vibes and awkward run ins after a break up. Running into your ex's crowd almost always leads to you walking away saying "how fucking annoying and awkward."

Everyone has experienced those unwelcome "hi"s, "hello"s, "how are you"s. But really, let's not be childish and make it worse than that initial salutation and perhaps a good bye if it is deserved.
Breakups happen.  They are common. They are more than difficult. They make all sorts of situations awkward. But most importantly, they are usually heartbreaking AND they change up your entire routine. ALSO remember, heartbreaking can include anger and hate, so don’t assume by heartbreaking I am referring to someone sad and moping around. 

I just generally mean that they can change a person’s life schedule from a 9am-5pm to a 10pm - 7am from one day to the next. They change who you hang out with, where you hang out, and sometimes even how much you go out.  

Regardless of how close you are to the two involved in a break up, as a grown ass person with any sort of sympathy to another person’s personal problems, you should be decent enough to let the break up run-ins be THE LEAST bit awkward as you can.  

Come on, be fucking adults. 

The domino affect of a break ups WILL include a run-in sometime or another, so please do not act surprised that your friend’s ex girlfriend/boyfriend showed up to a mutual friend’s birthday party. 
Do not act like you didn't know they might be there. 
Do not act like you don’t know a break up has happened. 
Do not avoid that break up, and yet do not confront it because it sure as hell isn’t your place. 
But most importantly, do not ask stupid questions that MAKE things more awkward than necessary. 
Why don't "adults" know this type of common sense?

I get it, it was probably awkward seeing them.... but asking questions like
"Are you still.... hiking?" or "Are you still.... living in LA?"
is an embarrassing conversation. Not for her. For you. You guys are lucky they were decent enough to bite their tongue and not say what any other rational human being would have said.

"Hiking? I mean I guess when someone invites me to go? I didn't know telling you I went once labled me as a 'hiker'."  I am pretty sure you were meaning to ask if they were still together. No, they are not together, yet I am positive you already knew that, but are insisting on knowing since it's mutual territory. It's called real life. This happens often in real people world.

"Living in Los Angeles? I don't remember ever having conversations about my living situation with you, nor do I ever remember mentioning a move. A break up does not imply I considered a move..."  LOL. Thanks for being concerned. I think you actually wanted to ask if they still spoke.  No, probably not considering there is not much reason to after a break up. Hello Captain Obvious.

SERIOUSLY? You didn't know that was going to be a failed and awkward question? You actually thought that was a regular people question?!? You couldn't ask a normal question? "Hey, how about them Lakers?" "This LA weather is amazing isn't it?" "What are you drinking tonight?" "Do you like this song?"

If you couldn't be that nonchalant about the awkward run in, then DON'T SAY ANYTHING ELSE. It was a bar. Not a fucking dinner party. You were not required to make small talk if you obviously couldn't handle being an adult about it. 

 #ByeFelicia
#beanadult
#growuporshutup

Me time, you time, work time, who time...

First day back to work, and surprisingly, I was more anxious than I was just thinking about it.  You know, usually you are anxious and then once you get there, everything falls in to place and you are no longer worried?

No. Not for me. Not at all. 

To be fair though, I was all on that triple grande this morning. I haven't had that much expresso in one sitting since before I was pregnant. That had to add to the anxiety. That and it probably does not help that leaving my 5 month old at home is just the first thing on my list of eight hundred and one things Rosie should be thinking about. 

As my foot tapped and my eyes flashed back and forth to my phone screen, the girl training me is basically telling me the position requires me to run the entire school. I will be in charge of all children, enrolling them in classes, making their schedules, ordering their books, their accounting, and communication with their parents. I will be in charge of all teachers, cataloging all classes they can teach, setting their schedules, monitoring their absent students, monitoring their paper work, and ordering their materials.  I will also be the assistant for the director so I will maintain her schedule, set her appointments,  and basically handle all her administration work. NO BIG DEAL.

Foot taps faster. Eyes flash from phone screen to computer screen. Shuffle through Excel documents. Shuffle through paperwork. Here comes that mid day headache.

And all through the training I'm paying attention, but I catch myself drifiting to my real life personal agenda.....

Did he mix the breastmilk with formula? 

Does the baby miss me or am I just trippin?

Are all of my 10 year old's birthday party invites out?

... goodie bags, lumpia, outfits, guests, invites, hula skirts, cake....

Should I cut my hair? Baby Q just pulls it and it's all falling out anyway...

Crap, did I check back in with the Hula Dancers?

What the shit am I going to wear?

I forgot that at work, all the other real life shit has to be put on hold for at least 8 hours. That's a long time to put off all of the things you have to deal with after a long day of work. 

I don't know how my mom did it. Honestly. She owned her own business so I guess she got to mix business with personal life. That was conveinient.

  All I wanted to do was hug my baby, take a hot shower and eat a bowl of cereal when I got home. Not because I'm stressed or terrified of my position. Just because I wanted some fuckin cereal and some baby hugs. Cocoa Puffs and baby Q.  I guess with the last 5 months of prioritizing between what the baby's schedule will be to how much tummy time she gets, I got to neglect the me time, and work time. And now I need to add a very large amount of baby Q time. 

 Like I said, NO BIG DEAL.

Time to get back in the groove.

Don't worry new job, I'll own your ass. Let me just get my rythem back. And add that triple grande every morning just in case. Thanks.

.....the MAIN dish vs the SIDES......

"If your girl only could only see, how you be callin me, getting fresh with me..."

Lord knows I love my group chat with the girls. We talk about it all.  I mean ALL things are up for discussion... random, current, past, mean, funny, dirty, sexy, secrets, eyebrows, shoes, gym time, significant others, kids (because now they are relevant) and so on.  So easily, the topic of main mains and the other woman came up. Who wins in this main chick, side chick situation? 

First things first... is it extremely hilarious to anyone else that this is not an uncommon battle?!? There are all these cray women out there who are actually battling their positions of being the MAIN or being the SIDE chick.  Obviously (dear lord I am hoping) that none of them comprehend that neither position is a respectable one?!? If you have any self respect as a woman, you should only be ACCEPTING positions as the ONLY WOMAN in his life. That's it. No ands, ifs, buts, maybes, or any other stupid excuse of downgrading yourself to a double team for some dude milking all these cows for free. Wake up heffers.

I mean I know there are certain circumstances that might make you a side chick at first, maybe make it so you are on the path to becoming the only?  Maybe you get trapped in sexual tensions and that defeats any other rational thought in your mind so you become the side for a second .... so perhaps you guys are so in love that you are the side chick, but he is leaving a main for you to become an only woman ..... or maybe you are the fuckin president and you have to stay with your main so that you can stay in office (yea Olivia Pope, I love you but you are a side chick)....or perhaps he is YOUR side dude so who fuckin cares what position you hold or if you "win"? Okay, that shit I can understand at one point or another.  It's the fighting to be winner in this situation that leaves me without words.  

Who would have the audacity to fight to be either of these positions?

How do you get to be a winner if you had to compete for someones love, and not by choice?

    Society and social norms have seriously effed up the image of a healthy relationship.  We are so liberal in our beliefs of what is normal and okay, that we fail to realize that no matter which chick you were going for, neither of them are a winner. You can't compete when it comes to love. It's either there or it's not. And let's not forget, sex is not love.

Winning is defined as accomplishing something. You aren't accomplishing anything by keeping a guy who could not pick you and happily stick with you and only you. Being declared as a winner in the competition of main chick vs. side chick only leaves room for other competitors.  There is no winner. There are just two really dumb girls and a dude that gets to bone them both.

Embarrassing.