my twenty somethings ...

I have thirteen more days until my twenty somethings are a year closer to my dirty thirty.

I never understood what the big deal was with age until three days ago when i rewatched the Friends episode, "The One Where They All Turn Thirty." It finally hit me. I DO NOT WANT TO TURN THIRTY.
How do I avoid it? Can I skip it?  If I don't look thirty does that make it so I am not?

Really Rose? This is real life bitch.

Ugh.  It is just that there is something calming about still knowing I am in my twenties.... like I still have time....

Time for what you ask?!? I have no fucking clue. 

I mean clearly, I have had a baby, I have been in a committed relationship for nine years, I finished school and am about to finish grad school, and I am house hunting. I don't feel like I am behind in where I wanted to be in life... 

Perhaps it is just the thought that I still have time to be young? Lol. Because you know, 30 = old? 
I don't know. I know for sure I am not the only one either. Everyone I know gets their feelings hurt when I remind them that we are damn near 30. I think it is just a common fear when you are in your twenty somethings.  
 It's because at 21, turning 30 is so fucking far away.
No one ever tells you that it is all down hill after your 21st birthday.... I mean someone once told me, but you just figure it's an old person's bitter response to that fact that you are turning 21 and they are old as shit, LOL.
No one ever tells you that you spend so much time hanging with friends, taking trips, running a muck and fucking around between 22 to 25 that you turn 26 in the blink of an eye. And then by then, 30 is only 4 years away -__- .

I am not angry or bitter. I guess I am just scared. 30 is a whole other field of age that I have to get used to.  It's a decade that I am walking into blind after my 20s was so fucking beautiful, fun, relaxed, and full of growth.
What can my 30s possibly teach me?

Better yet, fuck what my 30s can teach me, I just want to be 24 again, lol!

Just kidding. I am sure it will have it's perks. I am just being a crybaby.

Plus, I have 2 more years.... in THIRTEEN more days.
wah.


"We had a deal, let the others grow old, not me!"

 

#ageaintnothinbutanumber 
#dontsayitoutloudthough

Me time, you time, work time, who time...

First day back to work, and surprisingly, I was more anxious than I was just thinking about it.  You know, usually you are anxious and then once you get there, everything falls in to place and you are no longer worried?

No. Not for me. Not at all. 

To be fair though, I was all on that triple grande this morning. I haven't had that much expresso in one sitting since before I was pregnant. That had to add to the anxiety. That and it probably does not help that leaving my 5 month old at home is just the first thing on my list of eight hundred and one things Rosie should be thinking about. 

As my foot tapped and my eyes flashed back and forth to my phone screen, the girl training me is basically telling me the position requires me to run the entire school. I will be in charge of all children, enrolling them in classes, making their schedules, ordering their books, their accounting, and communication with their parents. I will be in charge of all teachers, cataloging all classes they can teach, setting their schedules, monitoring their absent students, monitoring their paper work, and ordering their materials.  I will also be the assistant for the director so I will maintain her schedule, set her appointments,  and basically handle all her administration work. NO BIG DEAL.

Foot taps faster. Eyes flash from phone screen to computer screen. Shuffle through Excel documents. Shuffle through paperwork. Here comes that mid day headache.

And all through the training I'm paying attention, but I catch myself drifiting to my real life personal agenda.....

Did he mix the breastmilk with formula? 

Does the baby miss me or am I just trippin?

Are all of my 10 year old's birthday party invites out?

... goodie bags, lumpia, outfits, guests, invites, hula skirts, cake....

Should I cut my hair? Baby Q just pulls it and it's all falling out anyway...

Crap, did I check back in with the Hula Dancers?

What the shit am I going to wear?

I forgot that at work, all the other real life shit has to be put on hold for at least 8 hours. That's a long time to put off all of the things you have to deal with after a long day of work. 

I don't know how my mom did it. Honestly. She owned her own business so I guess she got to mix business with personal life. That was conveinient.

  All I wanted to do was hug my baby, take a hot shower and eat a bowl of cereal when I got home. Not because I'm stressed or terrified of my position. Just because I wanted some fuckin cereal and some baby hugs. Cocoa Puffs and baby Q.  I guess with the last 5 months of prioritizing between what the baby's schedule will be to how much tummy time she gets, I got to neglect the me time, and work time. And now I need to add a very large amount of baby Q time. 

 Like I said, NO BIG DEAL.

Time to get back in the groove.

Don't worry new job, I'll own your ass. Let me just get my rythem back. And add that triple grande every morning just in case. Thanks.