ooOOOohHhh she RATCHET....

RATCHET.

First of all this is a tool people.  The real life definition refers to a tool.

But for some odd reason, we have invented a new definition of this word and it has become the newest way to describe the skankiest, sluttiest, loud, ghetto girl you know.  My friend asked me to define the word for him in my own terms, and those words were as close to a definition as I could get... So I went to Urban Dictionary to retrieve the proper, and most correct definition.  Read as follows:

A diva, mostly from urban cities and ghettos, that has reason to believe she is every mans eye candy. Unfortunately, she's wrong. Typical signs to beware of include, but are not limited to: -owning a Blackberry -BLARES anything by Drake, 2Chainz, Nicki Minaj, Gucci Mane, Waka Flocka, Lil Wayne, T-Pain, Cali Swag District, or any other garbage entertainment rapper -rowdily quotes "lyrics" from aforementioned artists -has a weave reminiscent of a bird's nest after a tempest hit the tree it was in, and is dyed at least thrice -wears torn leggings/stalkings (mostly of the fishnet variety), unpolished 8" heels (or higher, depending on how God-awful they look), fitted jean jackets (to accent the blubber 'round their arms and stomach), and 4 layers of caked on make-up to go clubbing -repeatedly use ludicrous terms such as "YOLO", "swag", "boost", "beaking", "doe", "really", "naw", "actually", "twerk", "coaster", "dagga", etc., to make a valid statement when they speak -have side bangs, despite having incredibly small-ass foreheads to support them -are commonly overweight and are mind-numbingly stupid; a safe assumption to make would be saying they're uneducated (as if they could pass the 4th grade)    Honestly, lol, this is ON POINT.  But diva? Bitch please. Divas are supposed to be full of themselves..... BECAUSE real life divas are drop dead gorgeous, accomplished, and intelligent.  Not any of the above. Doesn't this definition make you re evaluate some of the girls you know or see around?   It forces you to associate clothing choices and attitudes with certain images.   Now I need everyone to understand, Ratchetness is not something to be proud of.  I repeat, DO NOT parade around claiming "you are a Ratchet," you want to "go out and GET RATCHET," or that you "want to find a RATCHET outfit."  It is not cute, and actually you should probably be embarrassed. Here are the only times I think it is deemed semi acceptable: -When you call it out on your outfit choice or a friend's.... and then you make sure there is an outfit adjustment - When you are trying to show people a "Ratchet tendency" and how it could have been saved from that classification - When you are willing to admit it is ratchet, but you think you might be able to play it off classy rather than trashy And that last option is very difficult and ALMOST impossible. HAhaha, I should know. I sometimes have an urge to be too creative... and sometimes I get my nails done in Rachet ways with very Ratchet designs..... No bitches, those are not my nails, lol. And do not get me wrong... it is hilarious, and I can make fun of myself for it, and let my girls talk shit to me for it. But these are ONLY tendencies that I try to revive from that label.  I feel like some of the creativity in the nails HAD potential until a Ratchet went and did it to herself.  Or some of the outfits could have been so cute if they didn't always have so much going on!    This is NOT a trait that can describe me as a person.  EVER.  So please realize, that if you want to be a "diva," the real trait should describe a CLASSY woman who thinks she is BAD, and in fact IS.  A respectable woman, with self confidence, who deserves to be every man's eye candy. You should definitely leave everything else on that list out though..... because seriously, NONE of the list is classy at all, and  all the ratchness going around is starting to make us women look horrific.  And it makes me straight out uncomfortable. And all I can think in my head is "OooOoHhh she Ratchet!" so bitches, don't kill my vibe. Get it? Got it? Good. ooHhhoo they RATCHET...