Last week, the bestie called on the verge of tears saying how she "broke her favorite pair of heels". Little did I know, this bitch was not talking about shoes.
Remember how I had said that girls should find something that a man is in her eyes, shoes for example? Well my friends and I have seriously taken that into consideration, and shoes ARE a perfect match. I mean, being as dirty as they are, they usually just relate it to sexual endeavors with men, rather than the man himself. But honestly, same difference.
Therefore, her frantic phone call referred to a sexual endeavor gone bad. She called me ballistic, saying that her "go-to" guy for tooting and booting had just given her a HORRIBLE experience. Talk about bad news right? I was trying to sound convincing when I told her it was okay. I was trying to make her see that she could always find another. Then she referenced it to shoes. "Rose, I bought these Christian Louboutin's with my own money, I put in work for these shoes because they were my PERFECT fit, and NOW, the heel broke off. I want to cry." My response? "Damn. Guess your gonna have to save up and start shopping all over again."
That conversation was pretty much the deal breaker for me. Now, officially, men=shoes. Now which shoe are they? You tell me.
Is he your NIKE Women's Free 5.0 V4? Comfortable and helpful to your feet but yet only wearable to work on your "fitness". Not much use anywhere else and you never wear him in public unless you are wearing sweat pants and a hoodie too go with it...
Therefore, her frantic phone call referred to a sexual endeavor gone bad. She called me ballistic, saying that her "go-to" guy for tooting and booting had just given her a HORRIBLE experience. Talk about bad news right? I was trying to sound convincing when I told her it was okay. I was trying to make her see that she could always find another. Then she referenced it to shoes. "Rose, I bought these Christian Louboutin's with my own money, I put in work for these shoes because they were my PERFECT fit, and NOW, the heel broke off. I want to cry." My response? "Damn. Guess your gonna have to save up and start shopping all over again."
That conversation was pretty much the deal breaker for me. Now, officially, men=shoes. Now which shoe are they? You tell me.
Is he your NIKE Women's Free 5.0 V4? Comfortable and helpful to your feet but yet only wearable to work on your "fitness". Not much use anywhere else and you never wear him in public unless you are wearing sweat pants and a hoodie too go with it...
Maybe he is your Chesnut colored Uggs. He matches with everything and is something you can just throw on. He is always comfortable and never makes you look back and go "WTF was I thinking?" Not only that, but Uggs aren't cheap so you know he is worth it. Yet, you notice everyone has a pair just like yours.....
The truth is, every woman is looking for that PERFECT pair of heels. The ones you can throw on with anything you are wearing. The ones that never hurt your feet. The ones that make you look SO good, you never have to second guess slipping those babies on. And even with the occasional blister, you ALWAYS slip him back on because you like the excitement of knowing that it is ALWAYS gonna be such a perfect fit..... Yea, I need a pair of those.
Now am I referring to the man or the sex? Like I said before, same difference. I guess it just depends on your priorities. If you need a man to take care of you, then you are talking about the man in general. If you are a grown ass woman, you take care of yourself, and are looking for a man to satisfy other needs, you are referring to how well he PUTS IT DOWN when it comes to shoe fitting. Just sayin.
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