Thursday, November 4, 2010

a lover's rant....

I can honestly say that I once believed that I knew a lot about relationships, and now, I'm seriously stuck on second guessing myself.  I mean, when your with someone, things are supposed to be easy, flow right, mesh well.  Of course, there will be problems, yelling, breaks, break-ups, make-ups even.  I just don't understand why it has to be so damn hard to keep a relationship going.  And if it is that hard, is it even worth trying to keep it going?

I can't say much for myself, because I know I'm part of that group that doesn't like to give up.  I know that if things aren't going right, I will make any kind of excuse (usually for whom I am dating) to keep the relationship going, no matter if I'm getting hurt or not.  I just feel that I put so much time, effort, and not to mention my fucking heart into the relationship, that giving up is a waste.    But is continuing also a waste? A waste of time?  I could understand if I was a horrible girlfriend.  If I was a bad girlfriend I would totally get why a guy would give me so many problems.  But I know for a fact I am not a horrible girlfriend.  I am actually a great girlfriend.  Not perfect, but I am great.  I don't trip out about anything except if he is being inconsiderate.  That's all. Wanna go to a strip club? Sure, go. I'll give you ones.  Fuck it, I'll go with.  Wanna go to Vegas? Go!  Don't buy any hoochies drinks and waste your money, but yes dance, no dry humping of course, but that's a reasonable request.  Wanna hang out just guys?  Okay that's fine, but don't let them take some of my time when you already cleared me off your schedule for them.  Simple.  BE CONSIDERATE.

This goes for any relationships.  I have a friend that has no boyfriend, but she is dating a few guys.  She is so considerate of them, she let's them know there is other people, she let's them know exactly how she feels and what she wants as opposed to what she doesn't want.  YET, there are still complaints.  One is mad because he isn't the only one.  Um, okay DEUCES!  She is considerate enough to let you know how things are but you aren't considerate enough to keep the bullshit to yourself?  If you aren't happy with it, why are you wasting her time?  Another one talks about marrying her even though she has repeatedly told him "no thanks."  Okay, can't you be considerate enough not to make sex uncomfortable by talking about marriage while your still in her?!? Another guy completely refuses to admit he has another girl on the side that is serious.  Why?  She told you how it is, why are you putting up a front?  That's being inconsiderate.  She was real with you from the get-go, why can't you be?

My other friend is in a long term relationship.  Being that it is serious, she has been considerate enough to not lie about her past when he asks.  She always tells him the truth.  Low and behold that apparently is the wrong move because being considerate to him by not lying, just gets her into trouble, it just creates these enormously large fights for no reason.

I know too many girls that stay in relationships no matter how many times their heart gets broken.  They stay because they are too considerate of their boyfriends feelings, and not so considerate of their own.  And the boyfriends?  Not so considerate either.

So honestly, what's good enough?  What needs to be done to make a relationship work?  Am I wrong?  Don't be considerate Rose, just think of yourself?  I just wanna love someone and get loved back just as much.  No more, no less.  Is that too much to ask for?  Because if it is, I should start asking God for more feasible things. 






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